I quit smoking today. For realsies. I also found a nifty little gadget that helps me appreciate the progress I'm making and the money I'm saving.
Wish me luck, although I honestly don't think I'll need it. I read Alan Carr's "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking" and it really did help change my mindset about quitting. Of course, I did have to read the book about 4 times for it to really sink in, but it was totally worth it.
With cigarettes in Massachusetts going from 5 to almost 8 dollars a pack over the last 2 years, I really had no choice. But also, I kind of don't want to die. I did some basic math last night before bed, and calculated that at the very LEAST, I have smoked about NINETY-FIVE THOUSAND cigarettes in the 13 years since I've started. That scared the living shit out of me, especially knowing what a cigarette filter looks like after you smoke ONE.
My girlfriend Andy and I made a deal last night, since we're both pretty much dead broke at the moment. "I'll quit if you will." The thought of us quitting together is a helpful one, but I mostly have Alan Carr to thank for my attitude this time around. Last time I tried to go cold turkey was New Year's Day, 2007. Total disaster. I was feverish, shaky, sweaty, and irritable all day long, and I caved. This time, none of that. It really does make me believe in mind over matter more than I ever have before.
So like I was saying, this little meter thing (below) is actually kind of helpful. It will be super-awesome when I can forget about it for a couple of weeks or months, and go back and look at it and realize the money I have NOT spent on cigarettes is in the hundreds of dollars. Unfortunately, I couldn't find a "live" version of it, so you have to refresh (F5) the page to keep updating the meter if you so desire.
Oh, and one other thing: I actually quit at 12:30 last night, but I figured it would be kind of cheating to count the 8 hours that I was asleep. I set the meter to start this morning when I woke up, just to be extra fair.
For any form of satire to be considered truly great, I believe it has to walk so close to the truth that it's barely distinguishable from it. Whether exaggerated or slightly understated, satire is probably my favorite form of comedy. It often brings about some of the most sophisticated, clever, and disturbing genius comedy has to offer.
Many years ago, my sister introduced me to The Onion, and its brilliant satirical walk through fake journalistic history called "Our Dumb Century". By creating imaginary past issues of a newspaper that would often make either terrifyingly true or intentionally false predictions about the future (which was actually the past or present), "Our Dumb Century" underlined much of the stupidity and ridiculousness of human progress and historical events. The 1969 Moon Landing, for example. Taking into account the entire scope of human history, it seems a little less exciting today than it probably did 40 years ago.
Today, after a long hiatus from reading The Onion, I clicked on it this morning before heading off to work, and was simultaneously awed, disturbed, and greatly amused by the Onion's latest meta-joke. The owner of the Onion, one T. Herman Zweibel (think the Simpsons' Monty Burns with a bad case of Alzheimer's) has sold the paper to China. Today's issue features disinformation, propaganda galore, self-aggrandizing nationalistic rhetoric, harsh criticism of Americans and American culture, and a lot of censorship. Included are such hilarious articles as:
This "sale" comes on the heels of many terrifying stories reported from China, such as the blocking of the wildly popular micro-blogging site Twitter due to the fact that it seems to have allowed too much communicating between Chinese citizens that directly contradicted official, sanitized government reports. The paper's sale also seems to have roots in the many shutdown scares of long-respected American newspapers on the verge of bankruptcy.
In any case, I applaud the Onion for bringing attention to such full-blown fascism, and doing it in such a way that makes us laugh instead of cry. The political and social climate in China remains fascinating food for thought, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't stop and have a few much-needed laughs along the way to whatever solution might lie on the horizon.
I just took a peek at my Netflix queue to see what was headed my way once I return the movies I have at home. I was a little disturbed to find out what was destined to arrive in my mailbox in the very near future.
THIS:
In case you were wondering, yes that is Sean Connery. The movie, which I had until yesterday completely forgotten that I had ordered, is called Zardoz, a post-apocalyptic commentary on caste systems, organized religion, and apparently, fashion dos and don'ts.
Being a fan of the whole dystopia genre, my curiosity (which later deteriorated into morbid curiosity) was piqued when I heard about this supposed cult-classic by the guy who directed Deliverance, featuring former James Bond and future Juan Sanchez Villalobos Ramirez clad in a red diaper and suspenders. Um... apparently there's also a lot of stuff about penises in the movie too. At least, that's what I've heard. Based on that picture up there, I can hardly say I'm surprised.
In the last few years, I've been quite an avid fan of movies predicting bleak futures for humanity, mostly because of how plausible some of them seem. Before I continue with the real reason for this post, allow me to list a few of my favorite films depicting utterly insane, and largely believable, scenarios concerning the future of mankind:
The whole Mad Max trilogy: An Australian highway cop in a really awesome car goes nuts and exacts gruesome revenge after a biker gang kills his family. Later he becomes a legendary messiah figure, pisses off Tina Turner, and battles a retarded giant in a steel cage.
Logan's Run: The entire population of the US lives in a huge domed city controlled by computers. To stifle population growth, people celebrate their 30th birthdays with a mandatory mass-suicide ritual.
A Boy and His Dog: Don Johnson and a talking (?) dog named "Blood" try to survive as scavengers in a nuclear wasteland, and end up discovering an underground community of bible-thumping nutcases wearing clown makeup and overalls.
Equilibrium: To put an end to man's predisposition to violence and war, people are forced to take drugs that suppress all emotions. Christian Bale is a lawman who arrests/kills anyone who goes off their meds.
Wizards: Millions of years after humankind is wiped out by nuclear war, the forces of good (magic) and evil (technology) battle for dominance of the world.
THX 1138: Robert Duvall is a bald drone in a society of bald drones who is tricked into going off his mandatory mood-suppressing drugs and gets caught, sentenced, and imprisoned for his crime of having feelings and falling in love with his roommate.
Minority Report: Tom Cruise yells his way through this adaptation of Philip K. Dick's story of a future police department that can accurately predict the future and pre-emptively arrest criminals before they've even done anything wrong, opening up a whole messy philosophical and moral can of worms.
Demolition Man: Basically a re-telling of Huxley's Brave New World with guns, explosions, and Denis Leary. 'Nuff said.
And the list goes on and on, some examples being, of course, infinitely better than others.
So to all my friends, family, and loved ones: In case my mind does not survive the journey of Zardoz, know that I love you all and will see you on the other side.
In the spirit of Halloween and scary thoughts in general, here's a sketch of an in-progress piece that I consider something of a departure for me. It all started about a year ago after a few terrifying nights reading H.P. Lovecraft stories before bed. I decided to create something of my own based on all of the elements of Lovecraft's work that I found most terrifying.
At the moment, it's just pencil on newsprint, 18" x 24", and I must say, it is far more striking and disturbing as a real-life drawing than on a computer screen. Something I hope to remedy as I progress, obviously, but unfortunately it is a pitfall of displaying work in digital format. Something always seems to get lost in the translation to 1s and 0s.
Wow. Haven't blogged since last Spring, but I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things. I have spent a significant amount of time since March/April reorganizing my entire life, from finances to bookshelves to digital photos. I also found a box of old sketchbooks, which was a weird trip down memory lane. I'll post a few pages when I get around to scanning them in. In the meantime, enjoy this photo of me, approximately age 4, dressed as Superman for what I believe was my first "official" Halloween outing, back in Braintree.
At any rate, recent events, travels, opportunities, projects, and relationships have inspired me to get back into the habit of blogging on the regular. After a mind-boggingly frustrating series of edits and modifications to my homemade blog template (I refuse to use any of the pre-packaged stuff that Blogger provides...ewww), I think I'm ready to begin. All I need now is the spare time, which lately has been a most precious commodity, but I feel it is necessary to make the commitment.
Apologies for no posts in several months, life has been a little rough on me lately. perhaps I'll elaborate on this in a future post, but I kinda doubt it.
So, I saw "Cloverfield" this weekend. When it comes to movies, I know myself pretty well. I have a fairly good radar for knowing which movies I'll like, and which ones look just plain idiotic. In the case of "Cloverfield", the intentional shroud of mystery and almost complete lack of description did exactly what it was supposed to: intrigue me into wanting to see it.
As I explained to my friend Becky, I tend to go for more artsy or dramatic movies, the occasional smart comedy, or maybe a surrealist mind-bender like "The Fountain". Honestly, I don't have a favorite genre, as long as the movie is good. In the case of big-deal blockbusters like "Transformers" or "Terminator 2", I also have moments of weakness, when something looks just so god damn cool that the possibility of not seeing it on the big screen is unthinkable. "Cloverfield" struck me as one of these. I did not have very high hopes, as these larger-than-life (in this case, literally) flicks are almost always a bunch of awesome eye-candy sprinkled over a plot that is so weak and full of holes that I have to groan aloud.
Well, the movie exceeded all of my expectations. Plus, it scared the living bejesus out of me, which is not easy to do with celluloid.
I can't really say much more about the movie itself, that's kind of the whole gimmick. The plot is really too simple and straightforward to elaborate on, but basically think "Blair Witch Project" meets "Godzilla". However, there is one thing that really bothers me about the whole concept, which has little or nothing to do with the movie itself. Apparently, some critics out there have accused "Cloverfield" of being "opportunistic" and insensitive to the memories of the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center, and intentionally recalling images of dazed, bleeding people wandering around in a cloud of debris and dust to invoke those horrific attacks.
My personal response to this: So fucking what?
As we have heard countless times (especially from Rudy Giuliani), 9/11 Changed Everything. Did it also change us into a bunch of self-indulgent, crippled babies who will gladly use 9/11 as a pretense to endless warfare and xenophobia, but express outrage and curl up into a fetal ball when it's even hinted at in a film? Perhaps people of this bent are not familiar with the phrase "art imitates life". 9/11 happened. It's not forbidden to allude to it in a film. Look, "Cloverfield", regardless of the secrecy of the plot, is obviously about some kind of giant thing making a huge mess of New York City. You'd have to be an idiot not to realize this. If it bothers you, don't see the movie. Simple as that.
I understand it's a sensitive issue for many of us, but this should not, and MUST not dictate, what is acceptable or not in the arts. Hell, Adam Sandler and Don Cheadle were in a film last summer that was entirely based on the concept of a guy losing his family in the WTC attacks, and going totally nuts because of it. At least, that's the impression I got from the trailer.
Take a look at Japan. Their culture, especially in the realm of film and animation, has become completely infused with the idea of nuclear war, nuclear apocalypse, and nuclear weapons bringing about catastrophic doom. Ever wonder why? It's because we DROPPED GOD DAMN NUCLEAR BOMBS ON JAPAN, completely vaporizing two of their largest cities in a span of 3 days. Of course it's going to be on their minds! Yes, it changed everything.
We are not the only culture or the only nation that has experienced horrible attacks. In fact, perhaps the reason 9/11 is such an effective bogeyman for us is that it's the first time we can remember that WE weren't the ones blowing some shit up! Firebombing in Dresden, aspirin factories in Sudan, god knows how many hundreds or thousands of buildings in the Middle East, bombings and destruction of villages and mass-murder of civilians in Southeast Asia, two entire CITIES in Japan. The list could go on forever. But when someone attacks the US, we imagine that we're somehow special; exempt and perfectly insulated in this regard. Yes, it was tragic, yes it was horrifying and bloody and unbelievable and BAD, but the idea of editing the Twin Towers out of films that had already been shot at the time, and expressing outrage and pointing a finger of shame at those who would revisit that scenario seems a little ridiculous to me.
Courtesy of my favorite Halloween movie ever, "Halloween III - Season of the Witch":
If you think Halloween III was stupid, you're wrong. It has the greatest ending of any horror movie ever made, compounded by the fact that I met a 60-something Tom Atkins at the "Rock n' Shock" show two years ago. He autographed my t-shirt, and did me the great honor of re-enacting this famous scene right to my face. Watch it here, and oh yeah-- don't forget to watch the big giveaway at 9!
I have just returned from a quite enjoyable Columbus Day Weekend in the Berkshires. Becky and I spent a few days driving around, swimming, eating, exploring, and just "getting away from it all". Our modest sightseeing adventures included a pleasant hour or two in the amazing Norman Rockwell Museum in Stockbridge, where I was reminded of what may be Rockwell's most touching and familiar works, the illustrations for the Four Freedoms put forth by Roosevelt during World War Two.
I found a site detailing the Freedoms, the essays on each one published in the Saturday Evening Post (as part of a massive and hugely successful campaign for Government War Bonds), and most importantly, Roosevelt's elegant definitions of each. While not explicitly stated in our Constitution, these Freedoms are more of a moral imperative for humankind than any freedom that can be granted by the words of legislative documents.
In the future days which we seek to make secure, we look forward to a world founded upon four essential human freedoms.
The first is freedom of speech and expression -- everywhere in the world.
The second is freedom of every person to worship God in his own way -- everywhere in the world.
The third is freedom from want, which, translated into world terms, means economic understandings which will secure to every nation a healthy peacetime life for its inhabitants -- everywhere in the world.
The fourth is freedom from fear, which, translated into world terms, means a world-wide reduction of armaments to such a point and in such a thorough fashion that no nation will be in a position to commit an act of physical aggression against any neighbor -- anywhere in the world.
That is no vision of a distant millennium. It is a definite basis for a kind of world attainable in our own time and generation. That kind of world is the very antithesis of the so-called "new order" of tyranny which the dictators seek to create with the crash of a bomb.
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt, excerpted from the Annual Message to the Congress, January 6, 1941
After seeing these paintings once again in person, I was struck by their universality, and the unvarnished, straightforward way in which each relates its specific Freedom to the viewer.
Coming from a former American President, one would think that each of these Freedoms, which inspired such iconic paintings that seem to represent the liberties and values Americans hold dear, would be first and foremost granted in the nation that identified them as necessities. However, almost 70 years later, Roosevelt's vision of what might be achieved in his own "time and generation" have been eroded so gradually and subtly, that they seem to be in danger of extinction both in America and "everywhere in the world," disappearing not with a bang, but a whimper. Granted, there are certainly those among us who recognize these erosions, and aim to halt and hopefully reverse them. Unfortunately, these groups and individuals seem to be a minority these days -- not a minority in their goals, but in the mere consciousness of the need for change.
1. Freedom of Speech and Expression (Everywhere in the World): There are a brave few who still exercise this Freedom at their own peril. Today, we live under an administration that will not tolerate dissent, and intentionally isolates itself from criticism to create a perception of infallibility, inscrutability, and a clear disregard for the will of its citizens. Protest and assembly, one of our very first Constitutional Rights, is now confined to "Free Speech Zones", which are nothing more than glorified cages to protect our leaders from dissent or displeasure. Our news organizations, once trusted to deliver the truth and to expose the lies and machinations of governments around the world, are now corporate conglomerates with close ties and allegiances to political groups. The news and information we receive, mere steps away from outright propaganda, is now carefully crafted and engineered to keep us loyal, afraid, unquestioning, and woefully uninformed.
2. Freedom of Worship (Everywhere in the World): Today, everywhere in the world, religious groups are being persecuted, demonized, murdered, displaced, tortured, and oppressed. Our own government has used religion as a crowbar to draw moral distinctions between ourselves and our enemies. Our Presidential candidates are publicly hoping that we end up with a "Christian President", while fundamentalist Christian groups are gaining more and more political influence with each election cycle. Recently, a Muslim Congressman was sworn in by placing his hand on a copy of the Koran, and not the Christian Bible, causing a wave of controversy and intolerance, due to preconceived notions tying the Muslim faith with extremist terrorism and political ideology. In a direct and flagrant affront to the vision of our Founding Fathers, religion and politics have become so intertwined, that they are almost synonymous.
3. Freedom From Want (Everywhere in the World): In our world right now, 2 percent of the adult population possess over 50 percent of the world's wealth and assets, while the poorest 50 percent possess only 1 percent of this wealth according to a recent UN study. This may be a difficult set of statistics to imagine, (more on visualizing statistics here), but in terms of a representative analogy, consider this: If the entire population of Earth was represented by a group of 10 people, and the group was given 100 dollars to represent all the wealth of the world, the equivalent distribution would result in ONE PERSON posessing 99 of the 100 dollars, while the remaining 1 dollar would be SHARED by the remaining 9 people in the group.
There is almost certainly going to be disparity in wealth, class, and prosperity at any given moment, but the gap continues to widen. Millions of families and children of our own nation are without healthcare and/or living in poverty. If we are all entitled to Freedom From Want, it would seem that we are a long way from accomplishing it.
4. Freedom From Fear: Fear is the driving force behind many of our every day decisions and actions. Fear of poverty, fear of crime, theft, loss, fear of death and injury, fear of our overall loss of security. We are constantly being reminded that "September 11th Changed Everything". We are constantly reminded that dangerous enemies wish to destroy us and our way of life, and that war is the solution to any number of continually-redefined problems in our world. Fear is the primary tool of a government that wishes to control us, be it the current administration, or any totalitarian, fascist, despotic, or dictatorial government in the entire history of human civilization.
We are not free from fear-- quite the opposite. Fear is spoon-fed to us every single day, be it fear of global terrorism, or fear of dying in a car accident. Fear of killer bees, sewer explosions, drowning children, accidental fires, exploding iPods, airplane crashes, power outages, rabid dogs, sexual predators, and home invasions can be found on any nightly newscast, any day of the week.
Fear of being unnattractive makes us buy beauty products and diet pills, fear of appearing unsuccessful influences us to buy extravagant homes and luxury cars. Fear of not being loved by our children convinces us to buy them toys, vacations, and expensive birthday bashes. For centuries, fear has been the single most exploited and useful emotion of humanity. Roosevelt's narrow definition of fear as it applies to military conflict is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the amazing array of fears that we must hope to someday be rid of. However, 70 years after Roosevelt's proclamation, we are no closer to shedding the fear of physical aggression in terms of the reduction of armed conflict and a continuing struggle for permanent world peace.
I am proud to be an American that embraces a vision of these Four Freedoms. I sincerely hope that within my own lifetime, I will witness--perhaps even participate in--a common effort to move mankind closer to achieving these goals. I thank Norman Rockwell for reminding me of the true America-- one that embraces our differences, not discourages them. One that promotes peace, goodwill, and prosperity, instead of the fruitless and unconscienable war that will surely define my generation.
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At any rate, recent events, travels, opportunities, projects, and relationships have inspired me to get back into the habit of blogging on the regular. After a mind-boggingly frustrating series of edits and modifications to my homemade blog template (I refuse to use any of the pre-packaged stuff that Blogger provides...ewww), I think I'm ready to begin. All I need now is the spare time, which lately has been a most precious commodity, but I feel it is necessary to make the commitment.
I found a 